I'm already making plans for the Missouri game next year. Oh, wait, what? There is no Missouri game? Damn. They did WHAT? They quit the Big 12 to go to the SEC

Are you kidding? Well, what can you expect from the Slavers. Returning to their roots. Bourbon, meth and bad basketball. They are certainly not the smartest demographic in the U.S., are they? Well, I'll have to return for the Texas game. That damn game last year was just awful. Horrible. Well will kick their Longhorn butts back to Austin next Saturday. See you in May!
To understand the workings of American politics, you have to understand this fundamental law: Conservatives think liberals are stupid. Liberals think conservatives are evil. -- Charles Krauthammer